In Case you Wanted Children…

7:00 am Baby Wakes up

7:30 am I feed him and go to change his diaper and sleeper and moisturize him (start of day routine). Usually this is one of his favorite things but lately it has been a fuss fest because he is teething.

Please Note: No coffee consumption has been noted, momma is tired.

7:45 am Diaper is nicely placed under his bottom after waiting for his little bottom to dry because he is prone to bad diaper rash.

7:46 am He than precedes to shit all over me, the wall, the floor and the change pad cover…Luckily with such a force, he misses himself completely…Diaper is cooked though.

7:50 am I have now stripped partially down and another diaper has been ever so nicely placed under his bottom, as I go to put his diaper cream on…he does it all over again, me the wall, the floor, diaper change pad, and this time ALL OVER HIMSELF.

7:51 am Using my foggy caffeine free brain I try to determine if I should just give up and bath him or clean him with a wipe and bath him tonight before bedtime (that is our routine, not everyday but once a week…before you @ me he is 4 months old).

7:52 am I have finally decided I will wipe him down and bath him tonight when I hear what sounds like a tap running, that is when I look up and he is peeing now…all over his own damn face.

7:53 am comfort baby who just peed in his mouth…at least he realized he should clothes his eyes.

8:00 am I give up and turn on the shower, holding my now extremely unhappy baby into the shower I hose him down…also note an extreme mood swing as he is now extremely happy as he thinks this is the best shit ever.

8:10 am Get baby into the bath to soap him up, pees in the bath.

8:40 am Baby is now moisturized, dressed and poop free…for now

8:45 am Put baby into tummy time, he falls asleep…apparently these events have tired him out…

8:50 am Put baby in bed and finally make a damn coffee